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Love a Little, Stake A Little -- Sequel to the Love Bites Series
Manufacturer: J. Morgan
ISBN: 978-1-936000-62-3
Length:
Novella
Category:
Paranormal
Sub-Category:
Humorous
Rating:
Warm
Photography/Artwork:
Jenifer Ranieri
Release Date:
February 2010
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A Desert Breeze Publishing Free Read
When Alejandra Montoya started tracking a Vampire in the heart of the Big Easy, she never thought it would lead to discovering a conspiracy that could rip her world apart. Now, she's faced with throwing away everything she's ever believed in. Should she stake first and ask the questions later that she's not sure she wants the answers to? Or just face the fact Love Bites and staking ain't easy, especially when the story is just beginning to get good.
EXCERPT
Sequel to the Love Bites series, specifically Love At First Stake and Lovers of the Lost Stake (Coming February 2011)
"Prepare to die, engendro de satanas!" I yelled in my best clichéd tone of holier than thouness. I am ashamed to admit I may have added a maniacal giggle toward the end. Not proud of the fact, but in the heat of battle these things happen.
My valiant effort at action movie coolness must have worked. The vamp lifted its head, a bag -- no make that a diaper -- dangling from his fingers. He could keep those dookie fingers to himself. I'd just have to kill it before it got the chance to grope me with them.
Dropping his stinky load, he turned his head toward me. "Did you just call me Satan's bitchy baboon?"
"Where did you take Spanish, ghoul?" Really, because I made sure to enunciate quite clearly. Vampires are notoriously hard of hearing, or so I've been told. "I called you a spawn of Satan."
"Well, you need to speak more distinctly." He brushed his hands off against his thighs. "I take that to mean you wish to drive a stake through my heart or something along those lines."
"That's the general idea, fiend." I took a step toward him. "Now, be a good undead soul sucker and die."
I pulled up short as he let out a boisterous laugh that mocked me by echoing throughout the alley. My pride -- I know it's one of the Seven Deadlies but this was war and I needed the edge -- urged me to cleave his head from his sleazy neck. Counting slowly to ten, I allowed my calm center to flow outward. Every sister of the order knew you needed a level head when facing off against the undead. This was obviously a ploy to make me lose my cool and give him the advantage. Well, he was in for a surprise. This girl was wise to his scheming. "Look, we can do this the easy way¿"
Wiping a tear from his eye, he cut me off. "Or the hard way. Yes, I know the routine. I take it from your snappy repartee you're a slayer."
"Wrong, blood-sucker. You're facing a Warrior from the Order of St. Joan. Feel free to tremble in fear." In spite of his mocking tone, I felt it only fair to let him know he wasn't up against a normal run of the mill Buffy here.
He burst into peels of laughter.
"What's so funny?" Anger flared inside me. Vampires didn't laugh at warriors of St. Joan. They cringed and begged for their lives. I'd seen it happen, so knew it to be true.
"I'm sorry, but if you expect me to be afraid of a PENIS, you're more deluded than I thought you'd be." And he laughed again! Flipping—excuse my French—broken record.
PENIS -- just so you know -- wasn't a totally correct name for men's you-knows, it was the acronym for Paranormal Exterminators and Neutralization Inquisitional Sisterhood. I know, I know, but I didn't come up with it. That honor belonged to Reverend Mother Mary Celeste, who had the good sense to die around 1765. There was a petition to change our name to something else but we couldn't decide on anything. Secretly I thought my fellow sisters might have a hang-up about the male you-know and just wanted to keep the name for that reason alone. That's just me talking but when a bunch of women get together and yell, 'Our lives for the PENIS' over a bottle of Blue Nun, you began to wonder about their commitment to the whole chaste and pure lifestyle.
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"Love a Little, Stake a Little is an amusing, humorous read, sometimes bordering on the ridiculous but that’s what in my mind makes it work..."
Rachel Cooper - Classic Romance Revival Reviews
Rating = 4 Wings
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